Thou Shalt Not Eavesdrop
by ThePurpleRose
Summary: Matt overhears something he never wanted to witness. Something odd, something diturbing, something offensive - wait a minute, isn't that just Mello? Please read and review! Summary not so good but it's what's inside that counts!


**AN: Okay, this is a one-shot that just popped in my head.**** There is a story behind it popping into my brain but it's quite long and not that entertaining so I'm just gonna write (well, type really but whose being picky) it.**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note. Besides, if you want to sue me, all you'll get will be dust.**_

"MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Thunder rolled. Waves crashed against the cliff face. It was so dark it was like dusk when in fact it was midday.

"MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" a guy with blood red eyes, insanely long black hair and an incredibly fetching array of black clothing. He was flanked by two of his henchmen who stood two heads taller than him, watching as a further six henchmen propelled the caged princess towards the cliff's edge.

"Oh help me! Help me please!" the princess in peril begged, looking flawless in a long pink gown without a single strand of hair out of place even though she was in grave danger.

Matt's character leapt into action to save the princess from the evil guy. He drew his sword and charged…

… Only to be impaled on a spear from the evil guy's, huge, slavering henchman.

Matt shrugged and threw down his controller. It was no big deal. Mello would probably throw a fit before someone could push a chocolate bar in his mouth to shut him up – that someone was usually Matt – but Matt wasn't like that. Sure, losing the game annoyed him but he'd just passed a save point and the game had a vast amount of plot holes anyway. He was only playing it because the FBI flatly refused to spend any of their hard-earned budget for this case on a video game to conserve what little sanity he had left after spending most of his life with Mello the blonde, chocolate-eating wonder. Yeah, he was still a tiny bit bitter about that.

He felt the FBI should at least lend him some money towards a new video game. He didn't ask to be put on this case with Mello and Near. No, he'd just been happily napping on the sofa with his game of the moment on pause when he was rudely awoken by Roger, who told him that he had to join the FBI on a case concerning an axe-wielding mass murderer so that Mello would actually come back from whatever he'd been doing since he left Wammy's House and agree to work with Near.

As he ambled downstairs in the poky little townhouse-type building he was sharing with Mello and Near, Matt's main thought was, _Why an axe-wielding mass murderer anyway? It's so unoriginal!_

Matt paused to stretch and yawn outside the kitchen door. So maybe playing video games all night was not the best idea of you didn't want to end up sore and cramped. Matt was used to it; it hardly bothered him at all but a cup of hot chocolate would be nice.

Matt reached for the door handle but paused as heard noises from inside the room. He reeled backwards in surprise. Mello and Near were actually talking to each other! The only time that ever happened was if Mello wanted to vent some anger and then the people in the next state could probably hear it.

"Mello!"

"Near, don't dig your nails in so much!"

"But it hurts!"

"You're such a baby!"

"I'm not so sure about this-"

"-Look, do you want this or not?"

"I... Y-yes but it's so big! What if it doesn't fit?"

"It will; it's made for a hole that small."

They couldn't be doing what Matt thought they were doing, could they? Mello blatantly hated Near as much as the former L had hated socks. They couldn't…

"Mello…"

"Don't talk."

"B-but-"

"I said, don't talk! That means don't talk or I'll shove it down your throat so hard you'll choke!"

Matt couldn't take it anymore. If someone didn't stop this now, he was going to be scarred for life or longer, if that was possible. He burst through the door to find Near sitting on the counter with Mello leaning into the counter, one hand holding the white-haired genius' head still while the other hovered over Near's mouth.

"Mello, I don't-"

With that, the leather-clad blonde stuffed the hand that was previously hovering into Near's mouth.

"Take the damn tablet!" he yelled as Near gagged and tried to spit out whatever it was Mello had forced into his mouth.

"You were giving him a tablet?" Matt questioned meekly, his eyes wandering to where a packet of small cold and flu tablets were discarded on the table.

Mello, thankfully not very good at reading people, mistook the meaning of Matt's words and growled, "If I hear him sneeze or clear his throat or groan in pain one more time, I'm gonna go insane and then I'll give him something to groan about!"

It was supposed to be threat, judging by the way Mello had clenched his fists menacingly, but Matt winced at the reference to what he had thought they were doing.

"You're crazy enough as it is," Matt joked, weakly.

Near finished gagging and downing an entire glass of water to gag some more as his eyes finally locked on to Matt.

"You look a bit pale," he concluded, staring at Matt. "Have you got the flu too?"

Mello grinned. "Yeah, Matt. You sure you don't want me to give you one too?"

"NO!" Matt exclaimed, running from the room.

"Matt seems a bit strange today," Near observed.

Safely in the confines of his bedroom, a thought hit Matt with the force of a runaway demolition ball.

_'Wait a minute, was Mello actually being nice?'_

**AN: Right****, I know this is really short and not that funny but I had an urge to write it so I thought, why not? Anyway, if you've read this, please review 'cause reviews make my day!**

**Press the button; you know you want to…**


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